DH and I were talking last night, and he said, "You've had a rough coupla years, haven't you?"
That's an understatement.
"Do you think J has any idea how hard things have been for you?"
J is our 4, almost 5 year old son.
"No, I don't. He's only now old enough to be aware of things like that."
And I think that's true. If things are basically stable for little ones, they tend to thrive. And I can definitely say my child is thriving. But I know that PKD will always be a part of his life, whether he gets tested for it or not. His mother will always be going to the doctor, and he already knows that Mom's kidneys are sick. He will always be involved with the PKD Foundation, just because we will always be invovled with it, no matter how peripherally. And he is definitely going to be aware if these kidneys of mine fail, and I'll need a transplant. That's the kind of thing that a kid just can't ignore. I just hope it happens at a time when he is old enough, mature enough, and secure enough to handle it.
Right now, my life is fairly normal, and I think I'm giving my child a fairly normal, happy, healthy childhood. My own childhood was pretty stable, with my own parents always having average to excellent health, which they still maintain. I don't know what it's like to have a mom who is sick. I don't know how to prepare my son for the inevitable. I have no idea of what tools he will need, or how my disease will affect him.
I guess that's just another reason to thank my lucky stars for such a good husband. No matter what happens to me, it's comforting to know that my son will always have his dad to hold his hand.